"Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me"

Growing up as a kid, I remember my mom being a huge fan of "Hee Haw". I will never forget the song they always played ... that unfortunately still resonates through my head from time to time that goes something like this; "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me." Do you remember those horrifying lines? Maybe that's why I've always loathed country music? LOL

It's a catchy tune though ... I will give it that! How many of you ever feel that way? Come on ... be honest. I certainly have those days when I feel like everything I do is surrounded by a cloud of gloom ... despair and agony. Yes, I'm actually having one of those days today. As I write this ... I'm laying in bed with my laptop in front of me. I have a horrible head cold, cough, fever and congestion. No, not fun! But to be completely honest, I'm glad this week is over and I can start a brand new week!

Many times you have to keep things to yourself. Yes, I share parts of my life with friends, but I have to say ... It's only the tip of the iceberg. As a matter fact, many times when people ask me how I'm doing I respond with "great!" ... how many of you have ever done that? LOL I find that people have a tendency to not really want to know how your doing ... they just ask out of trying to conjure up some form of nonchalant interest or polite conversation with you.

But here's the thing ... if you start asking them about their lives ... whoa ... you will probably hear more than you'd like to know. I truly don't ask people how their doing, if I really don't care to know. So when I ask someone how their doing ... I really do care and I don't judge them! See, here's the thing that bothers me. People are quick to stereotype others and place a tag on them, and sometimes the least little bit of vulnerability you allow people to see ... watch out ... it may come back to bite you in the backside at a later time.

So here's my take on all of this. I have had more than enough betrayal, slander, woundedness and back-biting that I care to even discuss with anyone for the rest of my life. Trust me, I've had my fill and when I say "I know how you feel ... and I feel your pain" I really do. I'm not just saying that. I know too well how that solid steel feels as it going in to your back. My scars are still there. Healing may come ... but scars remain.

My biggest issue with people is trust. I can't tell you how many times I've let down my guard and trusted people ... only to be sorry for it in the end. If you think what you say about others won't get back to them ... think again. It really will and when it does get back to the person ... it hurts really bad like an ache inside of your heart that won't go away. Many times than not, people who know private things about other people's lives see it as power. Isn't that sad? And seriously ... women are the worst. It just absolutely floors me how women are so prone to jealousy. Let me say ... "it astounds me!"

Well, I'm feeling much better now on an emotional level anyways! LOL On a serious note though ... if the Body of Christ truly desires to see emotional healing and restoration ... then we have to stop wounding our own people with our swords. Here's the deal ... we all have struggles. No one reading this is above anyone else ... whether it's spiritually, emotionally, or mentally. We are all a part of the Body of Christ, if we claim to be Christians. But I have to say that over the past couple decades of my life ... I've seen a lot of damage come through the Body of Christ. There are many wounded soldiers lying in the midst, stabbed in the heart, then stabbed in the back.

A Body that is supposed to represent healing and restoration brings far too much slander, condemnation and gossip and God forbid if we see anyone rising above where we believe they should be according to our scale. Look out! Our mindsets are so wrong. We are so quick to bring someone down. We cannot say something spiritual with our mouths and then turn around and do something totally out of the flesh with our actions. Remember the old saying "actions speak louder than words?" It's true! When will we ever get that?

Jealousy ... what an idol in the Church! It's raised up far above God in may instances. If God is coming back for a spotless Bride ... when are we going to finally get rid of all the blemishes? I'm being very open right now ... and I have to say ... the Church is very disillusioning to me. And I'm not saying we all don't have issues to work through. I have myriads of them. But the bottom line is ... I'm truly working on mine and placing them before the Throne of Grace. What are you doing with yours?

Contention ... what I would call the second biggest idol in the Church. Brothers and sisters in Christ can't seem to get along with one another. We have so much competition in the Body, not to mention what I call church politics. Whenever people have disagreements or differences in opinions ... why does that always lead to being marked or ostracized by a certain group? Everyone is so concerned with their position and title, we neglect to see the damage it does to people's hearts, minds and emotions!

Where is the honor? Where is the love? Where is the heart that thirsts after God beyond anything else? What are we doing? How many spiritual body bags do we have to carry out of the church before we say it's enough? Listen, we are running out of time! We either need to repent and get it together or get out of the way ... so the passion of Christ can arise in the Body. Renounce that spirit of division and disunity. Renounce that spirit of jealousy inside of you. Repent of your contention with another brother or sister in Christ and go to them and repent for your attitude and behavior.

We either feed our strongholds and allow them to become bigger and stronger ... or we tear them down and relinquish them altogether. Do you struggle with jealousy? Do you struggle with contention? Do you justify releasing information that's told to you in confidence? Do you struggle with gossip or slander? Do you seek out to give someone else a bad name who you have issues with? Do you have your own agenda? Are you trying to bring people together, or cause strife and disunity? Only you can answer these questions.

In closing, if you have these struggles ... don't condemn yourself. God is your redeemer, He is your shield and buckler. Don't allow your struggles to become strongholds. Get rid of them and move on!

Thoughtfully written by,
Tracy Cavelli Trussell